Erebus Garden

So much for my cynicism…

While I was rummaging through tons of law school papers, sorting out which garbage to keep for “The Bar” last year, I stumbled upon a note I’ve written not too long ago. It reads:

“Yes, I am twenty-two (22), and yes, I have never had a boyfriend! Now what is so outrageous about that statement? Up until this point, the logic as to why people can’t seem to grasp the simple fact that some people, myself included, enter perpetual singledom by choice, still escapes me. Yes people like me are not the trend. We are the aberration, if you wish. But there really is nothing novel about our condition. We just don’t see any intelligent, nay promising consideration in entering into this over- rated human conception called “boyfriend-girlfriend relationship”…plain and simple.

Relentlessly, I have been an unwitting subject to all forms of speculations by reason of my being unattached. My person has been a favorite specimen, placed in a petri dish and scrutinized by people who desperately try to come up with an intelligible explanation to my perpetual state of singlehood. With the hopes of bringing about enlightenment to these people, as well as deliverance to all those who are similarly situated as me, I will address the questions raised thus far about my state namely:

1. Is Xancha a lesbian?

2. Does Xancha have a heart of stone?

3. Does Xancha have any traumatic experience with guys?

4. Is Xancha really that undesirable?

Issue # 1: Xancha is 22. Xancha has been single practically since forever. Xancha is from an all-girls school. conclusion: Xancha is a lesbian.

Not quite. The conclusion is non-sequitur.

I may have testosterone production, which is a little more than normal but no less than my pituitary gland assures me of my femininity…and GAAADD!!! Just why would I envy the male species to actually want to be like them? Even just the thought of possessing cylindrical and spherical protrusions (which, by the way, never seem to find their proper resting place) in between my thighs is unthinkable, much less desirable.

So much for Freud’s penis envy. I am a woman and my sexuality is beyond doubt.

Issue # 2…

I never got to finish what I’ve written for obvious reason — I have already sacked “Thy Boyfriend”… or Thy Boyfriend has sacked me. Luckily (or otherwise), it has already been four years and we are still counting. I guess I have truly seen the light in the dark (to THY BOYFRIEND, no pun intended).

And yes…it is still by choice...